"Suburban seventh graders have more sexual experience than you do"
-Jack Donaghy (30 Rock)
To all of you pretending to listen,
This is proof the 30 Rock writers have been to my neighborhood.
I used to intern in a seventh grade class.
The morning announcements are
practically Maury, but whiter.
To put this in layman’s terms,
I haven’t seen that many love triangles since Jerry Springer came on Netflix.
Jerry isn’t on Netflix?
Then what have I been watching?
Oh, that was an accident.
The clicker went missing.
And I was sick.
With temporary blindness.